also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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