5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
