he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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