I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
