I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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