Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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