I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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