i was rollin on her like bob the builder
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
