If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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