nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Randomize
