I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
