Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize