Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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