I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
