Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
