i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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