I'm eating all of the evidence.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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