forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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