Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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