"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
