Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
