The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
