There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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