The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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