Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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