If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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