Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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