Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
