So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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