3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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