dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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