did you get engaged???
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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