can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
