woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
