Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Randomize
