I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
