Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize