I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize