You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
