i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize