You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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