Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
