We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
