You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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