Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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