I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I wish I only lived at night.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
