Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
