dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
