Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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