He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
