i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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