So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
