hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize