quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
