Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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