WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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