she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize