We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
