Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
