oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
