it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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