just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
