Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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